Helicopter parenting

noun Informal
1. a style of child rearing in which an overprotective mother or father discourages a child's independence by being too involved in the child's life: In typical helicopter parenting, a mother or father swoops in and hoovers at any sign of challenge or discomfort.

The term was originally coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay in 1990, Parenting with Love and Logic.  So this is a fairly new term.  Which kind of answers my question.... Why is a majority of the younger generation so lazy and have a "me me me"  attitude??

Last week I counted my emails from all 4 schools, 9.  Yes, 9 emails. Weekly reminders, would I like a yearbook, cheerleader try outs, basketball practice, Neon pod updates, would I like another yearbook, would I volunteer for chili cook off , take a PTA survey and a reminder of early school dismissal. That's not including the additional info I get in my Facebook feed, 3 phone messages, the school portal for grades & assignments, multiple handouts that come home in their folders and don't forget each class has a website to check out!. Ugh.  Now that's a lot of info!  For just ONE week!!

I took a minute to reminisce about my childhood days.  Now I'm from the 'latch-key' kid generation.  I would walk home from school by myself and lock the door until my father returned that evening.  I'd make myself a snack and most times make my little brother and I dinner.  I never had homework but sometimes my brother would have some so I would help him without anyone prompting or asking me to do so.  I would bring home my report card every 6 weeks and I would either pass or fail.  Be rewarded or grounded. I don't remember loving school but I didn't hate it.  It was fun, social and educational.  I remember having only 1 extra circular after school which was softball.  Not select, premier, elite or anything of the such but recreation.  It probably cost my parents $25.  I loved it!  On the weekends, I remember I would hop on my bike and be gone ALL day.  I didn't have to tell my parents where I was going.  My only rule was to return before the street lights came on.   That's it.  Life was simple and INDEPENDENT.


Fast forward a few decades... I visit my children's schools.  They all have to walk in a straight line and not say a word.  You know, military fashion.  They have assigned seats in the classroom AND the cafeteria.  (Seriously, they have so little independence they can't even pick their own seat at lunch?)  And then recess, it is anywhere from 15-30 minutes?  Really?  My older girls have homework EVERY day and a project at least once every 6 weeks.  The Kindergartner has homework once a week. And sometimes the preschool will even send home a project for my youngest.  WOW!

With every email, handout and phone call, I feel more and more stressed to stay on top of my children's work.  Of course I naturally want to help my children but how much help is really necessary?  I'll be the first to admit I've finished some homework, completed a few projects and rode them daily about assignments so they would have excellent grades.  But for what?  Yea, they may get a better chance at a specific college or a scholarship but how are they going to survive at college if mommy & daddy aren't there to help them out?  I think it's time for a little independence.  Even if that results in some B's C's and even a failing grade in there to boot.  Its time they find those coping skills to survive on their own now versus later.  

Let me leave you with something that stuck with me.  I stole this quote from a friends Facebook:

My educational results are developed by the process of living life, 

and the perspective gained as a result of trial and error,

 which are often the mistakes, mis-steps and misunderstandings 

which lead to better judgment


So go out and live YOUR life and let your children live THEIR life!

Here are some fun pictures I took of the girls before school started.